Offering Help, Hope, and Loving Support to Those Who have Lost Babies and Infant Children
by the Rev. Canon. Dr. David D. Wilson
In May 2011, Kathy Krchmar, a retired labor and delivery nurse and bereaved grandmother, and Lauren McLean, a bereaved mother whose son passed in March of 2010 due to a rare genetic disease, formed a Christian pregnancy/infant loss support group called Mothers of Angels. Both women had the desire to start a Christian-based support group in the South Hills of Pittsburgh, catering to the bereaved mother’s heart while providing a safe place to explore and share grief. Kathy’s and Lauren’s dedication to the mission helped the group grow in the community with support and awareness for pregnancy/infant loss.
As the Mothers of Angels support group continued to grow, it was on the heart of Lauren to begin planning for the future. After months of prayer, Lauren reached out to other members of the Mothers of Angels group and asked them to prayerfully consider becoming the board of directors of a Christian-based nonprofit focused on pregnancy and infant loss. It was in Lauren and husband Jason’s living room that The Still Remembered Project’s name and mission were created and the filing for the nonprofit was completed. Each Board member felt God’s calling to this mission and whole-heartily put their energy into transitioning Mothers of Angels, to The Still Remembered Project (SRP).
As an outreach project, Memory Boxes were donated to local hospitals labor and delivery units and NICUs. The goal of the boxes was to gift the newly bereaved mother (and family) with hand-crafted items as memories of their dear baby and begin the grieving journey. Each of the items were made by bereaved moms of the Mothers of Angels support group.
Lauren and Jason McLean are long time members of Christ the Redeemer Anglican Church in the Diocese of Pittsburgh (ACNA). Jason, a lawyer, has served as Parish Chancellor, Senior Warden and a Vestryman multiple times. He was able to give legal counsel to our church as we moved through the morass of realignment and ceding our building to the Episcopal Diocese of Pittsburgh. He currently serves on the Committee on Canons in the Anglican Diocese of Pittsburgh.
As I noted, Lauren and Jason began working in pregnancy and infant loss after she and her husband Jason lost their first baby, their son Emerson, in March of 2010 to a rare genetic disease. When Lauren was 20 weeks pregnant the doctors discovered that Emerson had a condition called autosomal recessive polycystic kidney disease, which affected his kidney and lung development in utero. Lauren and Jason were given a choice to either carry or end the pregnancy, and they chose to carry
their son. When Emerson was born, he lived for three hours and was able to be an organ donor.
Like many other bereaved parents, Lauren and Jason were heartbroken as they quietly said goodbye to their precious son. After his death, the McLeans attended support groups in Pittsburgh and felt called to begin helping other couples and families that are touched by pregnancy/infant loss. It was a year after Emerson’s death that Lauren helped to build the Mothers of Angels, a Christian-based pregnancy/infant loss support group that met monthly in Pittsburgh’s South Hills from May of 2011 through May of 2016.
Since 2010, the McLeans have gone on to have three daughters and another son, all of whom are very much aware of their big brother in heaven. Lauren and Jason also suffered an early miscarriage in September of 2015. They are both advocates for pregnancy/infant loss and have spoken at a variety of events in the Pittsburgh area since Emerson’s death. The Still Remembered Project provides comfort, support and remembrance keepsakes for parents who have had a stillbirth, miscarriage or early infant loss.
I had the honor and privilege baptizing Emerson in the NICU of a Pittsburgh hospital a few minutes after he died. It was a life-changing experience for me, and I’d say to all of us present. It put me in touch with my deceased parents who experienced
seven miscarriages and one infant loss soon after birth. My mother hardly ever spoke of her pregnancies, and she had not been counselled to name her baby that died in infancy – had there been a Still Remembered Project in those years she may not have suffered through these losses silently and without support. Following these lost children, my parents adopted a son and a daughter and 3 years later, my mom became pregnant with me and gave birth at age 38 in 1951! I was truly a miracle baby.
About SRP, board secretary Joyce Lish noted, “All board members and many of our volunteers are bereaved parents, so we have a particular heart for the cause.” She noted. “We are centered in the Greater Pittsburgh area — we are partners with all the major Pittsburgh hospitals, but we also have been providing services to other hospitals in nearby Ohio and West Virginia. We host a monthly peer based support group and multiple events in the South Hills area of Pittsburgh.”
For example, the hospital near Joyce Lish’s hometown, Weirton WV Medical Center, has been receiving Memory Boxes from the group since 2011 and now also receives Sibling Bags, Miscarriage Packages and Angel Gowns as well. “The hospital distributes the material to the patients at the time of loss and collaborates with us to replenish their supplies,” Lish noted. “We also provide information about our organization as part of the memory boxes so that the patients can reach out to participate in additional services.”
SRP’s mission provides bereaved parents and families Christian-based support and encouragement for a loss due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death. Their efforts offer hope and healing throughout all stages of the grief journey through educating and equipping local medical and bereavement communities; providing remembrance keepsakes to families; holding awareness events; and hosting a monthly peer support group for bereaved mothers.
Among its projects are:
- Still Supported: This is a pregnancy/infant loss peer support group for bereaved mothers that meets once a month in the South Hills of Pittsburgh to give women a place to share and connect with others who are on a similar grief journey. More than 150 moms are registered in the group.
- Still Remembered Memory Boxes: These are donated to local hospitals, funeral homes and bereaved families who have experienced the loss of a baby. Each box is a gift that contains remembrance/keepsake items to help a family remember their baby. To date, over 2038 have been provided since 2016.
- Still Missed: This is a project focused on miscarriage with miscarriage care packages launched in January 2017. There have been over 7,660 packages provided since then. They include a letter to the mother, a remembrance card, a journal and pen, a handkerchief and a bracelet to represent hope.
- Still Family: This focuses on providing comforting items and keepsakes for the siblings and families of those who have lost a baby. It includes distributing Sibling Bags which hold a teddy bear wearing a hat, a blanket and the book “We Were Gonna’ Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead.” Thus far, there have been over 1762 gifts donated.
- Still Together: This is a community outreach program designed to support and unite local hospitals, funeral homes and other pregnancy/infant loss programs to bring awareness and advocacy for pregnancy/infant loss.
- Stitched with Love: This project collects a variety of homemade knitted and crocheted items that are utilized in the SRP memory boxes, sibling bags and donated directly to hospitals. Since 2016, over 2,800 additional blankets and hats (not including the ones in the memory boxes and sibling bags) have been donated.
To learn more about SRP, please visit www.stillremembered.org
